weighing costs of odd jobs

men tend to know the costs of household maintenance. when i say "costs", i dont mean financial costs. no i mean costs to ones personhood. ones ego. ones soul. the job is never what it seems. never. it may start easy enough but halfway into it you will find a screw rusted to a beam or a widget that just wont come undone or a missing nut. beyond that, you may not be able to fix it and this is the worst. to start a job only to admit defeat halfway through it taxes your ego and your soul.

my wife does not nag, typically, but she will speak about things that need to be fixed. like "the water faucet handle it partially broken off". i agree to this observation but knowing there will be a cost, i add nothing more. then a week later she'll mention it again. i still say nothing. i know there will be a cost. then she'll mention that while im at the store i might want to pick up a new handle. i defer to another time. or feign forgetting.

at this point she pulls out the big guns. "maybe we should call a plumber to fix the handle". its a very sneaky ploy. she knows i have a cost i my head and at this point she has levied costs that trumph a potential cost to my ego.


i go and buy the handle. i unscrew the screw holding in the old one. "so far so good i think". i pull on the old handle to remove it. its stuck. shit. i spray it with oil. still stuck. ah i see. now i see the cost. its almost a relief because i knew it was there only now i see it. the cost has reared its ugly head.

i use brute force and pull on the old handle and it breaks off into my hand. a piece of the copper sticks into my finger. blood is dripping. i wedge a screwdriver behind it and force the beast off. without attending to the finger i put the new handle on and screw it in. the cost is evident now. blood dripping from my hand. it feels good because its less costly than having failed or been unable to fix it. that is the most costly.