addiction, tolerance, & demystification of wasabi

the title kind of says it all, but allow me to go into some depth. i started eating wasabi 12+ years ago when i started eating sushi. at first my date and i didnt know what to think. it was the first time either of us had tried sushi or wasabi. my date thought it was guacomole and almost started smearing it on her sushi. the waitress showed us the proper way to eat the curious green goo, by mixing ever so lil of it in with the soy sauce.

well thats how it all started, it was like scary strange things might happen if you ate too much of it. and the name, so foreign...wuz-aah-bee. i started slow, mixing a lil in, then a tolerance to the stuff began. not on purpose, but several occasions on accident, i'd overdosed on the stuff, mixing so much into my soy sauce that i would feel a intense sensation at the crown of my head. it was weird, it didnt burn my lips or mouth, just my top of my head, brain and soul. at some point i went from avoiding this occasional sensation error to actually trying to cultivate it. more wasabi, more wasabi. it would hit me so hard that sometimes id look down at the table with a queer expression on my face. something between delight and excruciating pain. when i would come out of this wasabi trance, i'd ask those at the table how long i was gone, feeling that i must have travelled to another space-time continuum and back. they would curiously tell me that i never left.

i started going to sushi restaurants not for the sushi, or atmosphere or conversation, but just for the WASABI. "yes and can I have a double order of wasabi with that?". the waitress would look at me askance, then id see her whisper to the sushi chef who looked frightened by her word.

it seemed like the more i ate the less mental buzzing it would provide. that elusive high. it was like i was chasing a dragon or something. it was always two steps ahead of me. i needed another way. i started buying wasabi almonds, wasabi peas, nothing did it. at the most id feel a weak twinge and my nose would run.

one day i looked at the ingredients of some wasabi peas, figuring that maybe it would tell me how much wasabi it had? maybe if i could then find something with more wasabi, then i could get my glorious friend back.

what? WHAT??? WHAAAAAAT!?!?!?

wasabi was not listed. the only ingredient listed was horseradish!

horseradish!

ive been pining away over some common foodstuff item like horseradish. thats not unique or special or anyting?

oh well.
at least i still have my beloved absinthe.

retarded empathy epiphany

day1: why does he keep scratching and biting himself. stupid dog.

day3: stop dog! stop biting your ass you sick beast!!

day5: look now he's bit himself to the point of bleeding. infuriating madness. i hate him.

day30: he's so stupid, why does he hurt himself life this?! worthless creature!

day48:ouch fleas are biting my ankles! oh God, this really sucks there must be over a dozen! oh sick perversion! aaahh!!! why me!!!

day49: red welts all over my ankles. itching me. i scratch. those bastards, i hate fleas, this is what my dog must go through {{{{{{{epiphany}}}}}}}}}

day49: come here boy, lets get those fleas off you.

help wanted.

Audioslave put this tune out several years ago:

Light my Way

In my hour of need
On the sea of gray
O on my knees I pray to you
Help me find the dawn
O f the dying day

(chorus)
Won't you light my way?
Won't you light my way?

A Bullet is a man
From time to time he strays
I compare my life to this
To this I relate
And I'm willing
To listen to your answers
And I'm not ashamed
You tell you I need you today

(chorus)
Won't you light my way?
Won't you light my way?

So when I'm lost
Or I'm tired and depraved
Or when my high bullet mind goes astray
Won't you light my way?


it is like the person who hits the proverbial rock bottom and realizes he cant do it alone. it being life.

this acknowledgement of ones inability to truly manage alone is quite moving. it would be one thing to have the epiphany that one is unable to manage alone, and consequently needing the help of a fellow human. that would leave one feeling rather anti-climatic.

like sure someone else will help you, but who will help that someone helping you?like a redistribution of garbage. here i'll put this garbage in a dump. ok its all gone now. well not really.

but to finally, after trying all else, realize a need to ask God for help, to finally realize a need for God...thats significant. within that framework one is not only acknowledging their inabilty, but they are also acknowledging humankind's inability.

i could give this problem to my brother, but that would be just re-distributing the waste. the problem doesnt go away, it just moves from point X to point Y. but to give up and ask for help from a Creator, is to require something more than simple re-distribution. it requires a execution.